Surviving a flare: Mental health tips for Chronic Illness Warriors
As a person who lives with chronic illness and medical conditions, I am often faced with the question myself, how do I get through this day/week/month/season?
Living with chronic health conditions can pose significant challenges for many people. Whether its symptom flares, fatigue, increased pain, or something else, we are constantly living in flux. There are good days and bad days, and it can often feel like being on a nonstop rollercoaster with all the ups and downs you may experience. This can certainly impact mental health as well, increasing the impact of anxiety, depression, medical trauma, or other mental health conditions someone lives with.
So, how do I prepare for a flare?
First, everyone is a little different in their unique needs, ways they feel supported, and specific symptoms (including levels of daily functioning). Some people might be able to predict and prepare for symptoms, while others might be completely surprised when a flare happens.
For those who have some ability to track their symptoms and know when they might be getting worse, plan ahead as much as possible. Can you balance out your schedule to make sure it’s lighter for this time? Can you give friends and family a heads up so they know what to expect? Taking precautions might lessen the amount of stress on you, so that when a flare hits, you’re able to rest more easily.
If you’re someone who cannot plan or prepare for a flare, try creating a fallback structure for you and your support system. That way, even though symptoms may be unpredictable, when they do hit, there’s already a plan in place on how to proceed. Consider work, house responsibilities, caretaking, financials, etc.
How do you get through a flare physically?
Obviously “flare” means something different to every individual condition. I’m primarily speaking to endometriosis and other related conditions here, so if this doesn’t resonate with your unique experience, take it with a grain of salt.
First, I listen to my body’s cues as I make decisions. If my gut says I need to take the day off, then I do. If my body needs to be hydrated, them I prioritize water intake. If my body requests stillness and rest, I aim to take care of these needs as much as possible. I utilize all the tools at my disposal to help with pain, including pharmaceutical and non-pharmaceutical interventions.
How do you get through a flare mentally?
For many chronic illness warriors, the mental toll poses even more of a challenge than physical. It can be extremely frustrating, upsetting, and disappointing, to be faced with constant pain and symptoms. When symptoms increase suddenly, it might bring up a lot of internalized pressure and feelings around lack of progress. You might feel like you’re reliving the same nightmare on repeat. You might become hypervigilant, checking in with your body constantly, looking for signs of something being wrong.
With all of this heaviness, I find a need to create balance with lightness. I step away from anything that doesn’t absolutely have to get done. I find things that bring me a little bit of joy in the darkness. I fall back on my values and my own advice. I lean on my support systems. Basically, I aim to simplify my life as much as physically possible.
For example, in the past few weeks I was hit with a series of migraines (Hi migraine-sufferers). While I have experienced these for years, this was out of the ordinary for me in terms of frequency, ability to treat, and pain levels. So, here are the actual steps I took:
Took time off- I took half a day off work before the weekend, and took it slow as much as possible over the weekend. Luckily, I have the most wonderful and understanding clients.
Rested in ways that actually helped- I sat in near-darkness as much as possible. I napped and laid down, aiming to be off screens. I did not push my body to move or exercise when I didn’t feel capable.
Prioritized physical needs- I had foods/beverages on hand that felt quality and comforting for what I was experiencing. I made sure I was drinking a lot of water and keeping my body regulated. I took all my meds as usual.
Leaned on my support system- I asked for help with the things I needed, like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. I received grace for not being able to do as much as my typical baseline.
Focused on relaxation- I engaged in deep breathing when I noticed myself getting overwhelmed. I often allow myself to take a long shower or bath if I’m able to. I always have calming tea on hand for extra support.
Scheduled a doctor’s appointment- When I realized that my symptoms were out of the ordinary for my baseline, I reached out to my doctor to schedule a visit to make sure I was doing everything necessary to take care of my body and prevent future occurrences.
Saw my own therapist- Yes, it’s that important to have a space to process your emotions and experiences with chronic illness. I needed this support in order to not isolate myself.
In many ways, the physical and mental ways of caring for yourself during a flare are the same. That’s because it’s nearly impossible to separate the two. When you feel bad physically, you’re most likely going to be struggling mentally in some ways. Taking care of one is taking care of the other, too.
What advice would you give to a chronic illness warrior going through a flare?
Most importantly, I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace and compassion. Being harsh on yourself will only make you feel worse and strain your mind-body relationship further.
Instead of trying to separate from your body, lean into it. Care for it. Be soft and gentle with yourself. Listen to its cues.
Pushing beyond your physical limits will likely only make you feel worse at first. Take time to slow down. When you notice yourself starting to bounce back, that’s when it might feel okay to slowly move back towards your normal status quo.
Establish a support team who can help when you need it. Doctors, therapist, friends, family, partner, etc. Basically anyone who can take something off your plate that you might not be able to figure out by yourself.
At the end of the day, living with chronic illness, pain, and other conditions is really hard. It takes a lot of mental, physical, and spiritual strength to keep going at times, but I promise, it’s worth it.
And, if you find yourself really struggling emotionally, I highly recommend getting started with a therapist who truly gets it and specialized in chronic illness.
If you’re looking for therapy in Maryland, Colorado, or South Carolina, you can schedule a free intro call to get started with me. Just know that you are never alone, even when it might feel that way.
Elizabeth Allen, LCPAT, LPC, LGPC, ATR-BC
Creative Pathways Counseling
