Therapy for Perfectionists & People Pleasers with Anxiety
Discover how therapy can help you navigate anxiety and perfectionism, reclaim your sense of joy, and feel truly seen- maybe for the first time. Provided in-person in Baltimore and virtually across Maryland, Colorado, South Carolina, and Vermont.
The toll of perfectionism & people-pleasing
Perfectionism is in its own category of anxiety, often referred to as “high-functioning anxiety.” These are often the high achievers, always working towards the next goal, with no time to slow down and celebrate when those achievements are met. Perfectionists are often the ones who always feel like they have to hold it all together, to keep things going, do it all the right way— while quietly struggling with the overwhelming anxiety of what happens if they fail. People-pleasers have a tendency to put everyone else’s feelings and needs first— often indirectly neglecting their own needs as a result.
They live in constant fear, worry, and even sometimes true panic. They’re constantly overthinking every decision- considering all the ways something can go wrong. They question their own abilities- why does it feel like everyone else has it all together and they’re barely keeping their head above water?
Living with perfectionism and anxiety takes a true emotional toll. You’re working hard every day, probably putting your own feelings and needs last after everything else. Sure, that’s what’s expected of you— but at what cost to your mental health and well-being?
As a therapist specializing in perfectionists with anxiety, I see this every day. Perfectionism and anxiety often feels like it sucks the life out of you- it dulls your sense of peace, enjoyment, and living a life that feels truly aligned with your values. You deserve care that honors who you are at your core—and helps you find ease, joy, and meaning along the way.
What other people don’t see….
Anxiety driven by perfectionism and people pleasing goes beyond just worrying. You might be experiencing:
Constant overthinking on repeat throughout the day (and definitely when you try to sleep)
Complete and utter exhaustion and no time for the things that fill your cup
Silently struggling with your own emotions and fear of letting others know how you actually feel
Emotional drain from putting your own needs last after everyone else’s
Fear of failure or not proving yourself (maybe you’re actually feeling like you’re never enough)
The Sunday scaries that actually start on Friday
Accomplishing your goals but never being able to slow down to celebrate them
How therapy supports clients with anxiety
Art Therapy for Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, & Anxiety
Art therapy can be a helpful tool for clients navigating patterns of perfectionism and anxiety. Through incorporating art into therapy sessions, there is a space for creative expression, emotional and physical release, and even channeling a sense of grounding and calmness when things are feeling really overwhelming.
Art therapy can be a great way to process the emotions and experiences that happen every day. Through creating art, clients can find a way to channel these emotions into visual representations, which may be easier to access and express than words, at times. Art therapy can also be a way to support clients in navigating deeper worries and fears that drive perfectionism and people-pleasing, such as questions around self-worth, value, and being enough. Art therapy can be the key to unlocking new insights on the true roots of anxiety, which often go so much deeper than what meets the eye. It can allow for better communication and identification of triggers for anxiety and perfectionism. Art is also a great space for exploration of values, something that might show up more often than not in perfectionism and people pleasing.
Art therapy can also be a great experiential exercise in working against perfectionism. While art is a beautiful modality, the process of creating it can be difficult and frustrating at times. By creating art that’s wild, vulnerable, and even messy at times, we work outside of the “normal” structure and expectations on what art “should” be. There are simply no shoulds in art therapy- it’s a space to simply exist and create with an open heart and mind. For perfectionists, this can be challenging, but also a space for truly positive change.
EMDR for Anxiety
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be another helpful tool for clients experiencing anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Anxiety is the body’s way of responding to stress and danger, in order to protect itself. EMDR allows clients the ability to process past memories, current triggers, and future fears to release any tension or distress that might be associated.
In relation to perfectionism and people-pleasing, EMDR can be a way to work through deeper fears and negative beliefs about the self to move towards more positive or neutral beliefs. For perfectionists and people-pleasers, there are often negative beliefs that date back to earlier experiences in childhood. These things are often the body’s response to trying to control circumstances outside of our control, and by processing these memories we allow the mind and body to finally move forward from the past. During EMDR, there is usually identification of a negative belief that is linked to any past memory and something that can be released and processed as each memory is. Additionally, installation of a more adaptive belief is actually one of the eight phases of EMDR, so it’s a crucial step towards fully releasing the distress around the trigger point or memory and helps move forward even more.
For more information on how EMDR can help with anxiety, check out EMDRIA.
When talk therapy feels like it’s not enough
Traditional talk therapy often falls short on meeting the depth of emotions that come with anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. It may have felt too surface-level or focused on cognitive processes over deep emotional acknowledgement and processing, or ignored the somatic components of care. You might have spent so much time understanding your patterns, when in reality, you’re already self-aware. Really, it feels like something is truly missing. As someone who has been a high-achiever, works hard, and values your time, you don’t have time to waste on therapy that misses the mark.
This is where art therapy and EMDR can really meet you where you’re at and fill the gap of what’s missing. Combining these approaches with a compassionate and relational approach to counseling, therapy can create a true emotional safe place to process the depth of the emotions you feel and the ways it impacts your relationship with your body.
Elizabeth Allen is a Baltimore therapist specializing in chronic illness, anxiety, and therapy for highly sensitive people. Offering virtual sessions across Maryland.
Therapy at Creative Pathways Counseling
As someone who is a recovered perfectionist myself, I understand the deep emotional impact these experiences can carry. I offer a space of true empathy and connection- where you don’t have to be anything or anyone other then yourself.
Together, we can explore ways to process the anxiety you’re experiencing, release the emotions involved, and build a life that feels more aligned with your values and joy. Healing doesn’t mean fixing everything-it means finding peace and possibility within your experience.
You don’t have to go through this alone.
What to expect from therapy
A space to receive true support and finally feel understood and seen
Heal your relationship with yourself and your body even through pain and illness
Embrace your own self-compassion and care
Improve confidence in yourself and your value outside of accomplishments
Strengthen your relationships that might be struggling under the weight of perfectionism
Feel empowered in your body and belief in yourself to get through hard things (including anxiety and fear)
Release emotional distress related to never feeling like you’re doing enough
Decrease anxiety triggers surrounding your health and worries about the future
Feel rooted in your values and make decisions about your health that feel aligned with them
Does this sound like what you’ve been looking for?
Frequently Asked Questions about chronic illness therapy at Creative Pathways Counseling
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You may be functioning perfectly fine when it comes to work, daily responsibilities, parenting, etc. Functioning is not the same as thriving! Could you be less stressed, less anxious, less overwhelmed by the things on your plate? If you’re nodding your head “yes,” then therapy might still be helpful for you! Give it a try, you might be surprised.
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Knowing why you’re anxious and actually changing that anxiety are different! I’m here to help you take that power back and no longer let the anxiety rule your life. Using in-depth approaches like EMDR, art therapy, and other methods of talk therapy (such as IFS, ACT, and relational support) we can work through those patterns and make true, lasting changes.
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These two things are actually more different than you might realize. Perfectionism is often driven by a deeper need for success or to prove yourself. It can lead to feelings of stress or distress when the bar is set impossibly high and totally out of reach. Working on your perfectionism doesn’t mean you have to stop having standards for yourself or others!
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Nope! I do not consider myself a CBT therapist by any means. While CBT is a great tool for so many people with anxiety, it’s just not my jam personally. I’ve found it to be invalidating and dismissive of the depth of emotions and feelings we experience as humans. There may be some elements of this in any given therapy session, but I strive to work in a different way. My approaches provide a deeper connection and capacity for healing that really supports the kinds of clients I specialize in working with.
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In my opinion, there’s no subjective measure of what’s “bad enough.” If you’re experiencing anxiety, you can likely benefit from therapy! The frequency and intensity of your anxiety is something that we’ll explore together and might guide how we proceed with treatment, but there’s no right or wrong time to give therapy a try.
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Yes, I do work with clients outside of Baltimore! I offer virtual therapy to clients throughout Maryland, including Towson, Columbia, Bethesda, Silver Spring, Rockville, Annapolis, and beyond. If you're a Maryland resident, you're welcome to reach out regardless of where you're located. Additionally, I am also a licensed counselor in Colorado and registered to provide telehealth therapy in South Carolina and Vermont- so I can work with you virtually in any of those states!
Next Steps
If you’ve read this far, something probably resonated with you, so what’s next?
First, let’s get started with a free consultation call. This is a great time to ask any questions you have, learn more about my approach, and just get a sense for if we connect! There is no pressure at all to commit, you can take your time and let things sink in before you decide if you’d like to move forward.
I know how vulnerable starting therapy is, especially if you’ve tried before and felt disappointed in your experience or felt unsupported by the therapy process. That’s why I give you time and space to think things over and evaluate if we’re really the right fit.
For our first few sessions, we’ll slowly ease into the process and explore your hopes, expectations, and goals. We’ll spend time going over options for therapy modalities- including art therapy and EMDR- and decide what feels right for you. To ensure that therapy feels like the right fit, I will check in every so often to give you the space to consider how things are going. There’s no pressure to continue, but I typically find that the first 3-6 sessions are a good checkpoint.
You don't have to keep carrying this alone.
Book a free consultation call today.
Let’s get started.
elizabeth@findcreativepathways.com
301-359-1763
4800 Roland Ave, Baltimore, MD 21210